My favorite musical of all time is “Chicago”. Mainly because I love jazz, but also because there’s
one scene where its main character, Roxie Hart, explains why people seek fame. Something along
the lines of “…And we love each other. And that’s because none of us got enough love in our
childhood. And that’s showbiz… kid”. Those lyrics have always stayed with me because that’s
usually how people in the art industry talk about themselves. Looks like the inspiration behind
creativity often comes from a place of insecurity, and the need for external validation. It certainly
rings a bell to me, and even though I only play music as a hobby, I can totally relate to the feeling
of always pushing the extra mile to get some sort of blessing from my boss, whoever they were at
the time. Let’s face it: we are all more interested in how other people see us than we care to admit.
Stay with me and read till the end, and maybe we can come up with a few simple steps to avoid
focusing so much on management approval.
Table of Contents
Teacher’s pet
I remember back in school there was a double standard on this. If the teachers liked you, you had
an easier academic life, but the constant bullying and negative comments from the rest of the class
was not really worth it. Somehow growing up, most people continue to go after their leader’s
compliments and -with time- work ethics tend to get blurred because of that. Betraying your
coworkers’ trust is in no way the right path to get ahead or grow professionally.
From Top to Bottom
Most companies talk about positive culture, family environment, and things of the sort. If that is true
and you get to be in that atmosphere, you have won the lottery. But if it isn’t, it won’t be long until
your supervisor treats you amazing on Monday and tells you how well you are doing, etc. to – by
Friday – is pretty mean to you and lets you know how much of a disappointment you are to them
and to the team. I’ve had calls in which I was praised for my accomplishments to then be told I was
“full of BS”. And this happened in two separate calls, within the same month by the exact same
person. Why? I think this leader got their head full of lies by someone who should have been my
mentor but was so scared I was going to do better than them at my role than did the unthinkable to
see me fail. So don’t cling to praises and compliments. They usually don’t last long in the corporate
world.
Why Me?
And why NOT you? If you are doing a good job, and you are putting a real effort to learn and excel
at your tasks, the real reward is within you. Yes: we need the money, we love to feel proud, we like
to be needed. It’s true. But all of that is right in your mirror. We shouldn’t be looking for this
constant external validation. Who is better than you to tell you how you should think of yourself?
Self esteem is something most of us work on throughout our entire lives. We seek counselling,
coaching, therapy, whatever works best for each of us. But in the end, there’s a gut feeling that
should be your green light. “This is it. This is my impact. This is what I want to leave behind”. If you
already found it, go for it. If not, keep searching. It’s somewhere inside of you!
Rewards
It might sound a bit too comforting, but if you can balance your expectations and live in the
moment, instead of projecting your happiness for when you get that promotion, or that raise, or that
relocation, etc. everyday little successes will make your life much better, day by day. Those small
rewards of finishing a tough task you didn’t understand at first, or that chat you had with a team
member who thanked you for your support on that client’s call, or even hitting that sales goal that
bumps your commissions up for the month are a lot better and last a lot longer that your boss
saying “great job” after missing your family dinner because you had a deadline they should have
been working on instead of you. So next time you evaluate your performance at work, make sure
you consider what you think first. You and your loved ones. Not your supervisor’s opinion alone.
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