Is it fear of failing? 

Let’s get real for a second. Fear of failure is basically the Madonna of fears—it’s everywhere, it’s powerful, and it’s hard to ignore (Just like in her 1989 video when she changed Pop Culture worldwide forever by singing “Life is a mystery… everyone must stand alone” in such a powerful statement). But here’s the twist: failure isn’t the monster under the bed. It’s more like a really annoying teacher who gives you pop quizzes when you least expect it. Sure, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s also where the magic happens. Every mistake, every setback, every “I can’t believe I just did that” moment is a lesson learnt. So, what’s the worst that could happen? You fail? Cool. Now you know what not to do next time. After all, you’re still alive. Your dog still loves you. And pizza still exists. Perspective, people!.

The Cozy “Comfort Zone”

Ah, the comfort zone – which I often refer to as the fear zone –. It’s like a warm blanket on a rainy day—safe, cozy, and oh-so-tempting. Problem is… nothing grows there. You are six feet under. And your dreams? They’re outside, doing push-ups and waiting for you to catch up. Stepping out of your fear zone doesn’t mean you have to quit your job, move to a different country, or start skydiving (unless you want to). It can be as simple as speaking up in a meeting, pitching an idea, or finally hitting “send” on that email you’ve been overthinking. Small steps, big impact. You need to know what it is you really want and what you deeply wish for.

What If?

Fear loves to play the “what if” game. What if I’m not good enough? What if people laugh at me? What if I mess up and everyone thinks I’m a fraud? Sound familiar? Here’s how to beat it: play the game back. Switch it. What if you succeed? What if this is the best decision you’ve ever made? What if you inspire someone else to take the leap because they saw you do it? Fear thrives on uncertainty, but so does opportunity. The difference is, opportunity doesn’t paralyze you—it propels you. So, next time fear starts whispering “what if,” hit it with your own version. Coaching principles teach us to ask WHAT FOR instead of WHY. You can leave the self-doubting feelings aside for one second and ask yourself “what do I want this for?”. That helps see the light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, I know it from my own experience.

A Liberating “Yet”

Here’s a little word that packs a big punch: yet. As in, “I’m not where I want to be… yet.” Or “I don’t know how to do this… yet.” Adding “yet” to your vocabulary is like giving yourself permission to grow. It’s a reminder that you’re a work in progress, and that’s okay. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is your dream career, relationship, or life. So, cut yourself some slack. You’re not failing—you’re learning. And that’s a win in my book. I hope I never run out of goals I haven’t achieved YET that I’m working towards doing so.

Just Do It! 

At the end of the day, fear isn’t the enemy. It’s just a sign that you’re about to do something important. Something that matters. Something that scares you because it has the power to change your life. So, feel the fear. Acknowledge it. Thank it for trying to protect you. And then… do it anyway. Open the door. Take the leap. Send the email. Because getting those results you wished for? They’re worth the scary bits. And so are you. If you need a coach, counselor, or mentor to guide you in the right direction, you are more than welcome here.

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Are you supposed to endure everything?

No, of course not! Unless you want a massive nervous breakdown that will impact your life, affecting everyone you care about, too. Some tasks are not in your job description. Some things you are not supposed to do in life. Why? We don’t have equal backgrounds, trainings, personalities, or desires. Not everyone is born a leader. Along the years, I’ve had many people in my teams asking me to let them stay “behind the scenes” and do more admin type work; where, in other cases, I’ve been asked for the exact opposite. People who wanted to lead, and take responsibilities as their own. There’s no right or wrong here. But if you do not feel comfortable with what your manager is asking from you, you should be able to say it out loud and not be reprimanded for it in the future. 

Happiness. A skill.

It’s actually a feeling. A constant state of joy. Or something like that according to the dictionary. However, I am a firm believer that happiness is more of a skill. You can train yourself to feel grateful every morning when you wake up. You can work towards finding your passion and goals. You can meditate, do sports, go on walks with your dog, hang out with loved ones, and so many other activities to keep you in a good mood most of the time. You should avoid toxicity at all costs. That includes toxic working environments. Bad company culture. Poor management. Bad financial advise. Meaningless relationships. Fake friends. Unsupportive relatives. You should ask your therapist, your career coach, your priest, your rabbi, whoever you find insightful enough how to say NO when you feel stuck with too much pressure on your shoulders. Life is a learning opportunity. We have a chance to start over every day, no matter your age nor your title. But guess what? You can also feel terrible and have a bad mood, and that is OK too. This rollercoaster we are all on is part of the human experience.

Finding balance

As long as you are not hurting anyone, your decisions are yours, and yours alone. I’m only here to give you ideas on how to move forward in this complex world we live in. Not because I know more, but because I work on myself-care and mental health all the time. Hence, I probably already asked myself what you are asking yourself right now. Try to find a balance between having fun and being proactive. Rest as much as you can as long as it doesn’t turn into endless procrastination. Eat something delicious without counting its calories now, and have something healthier in your next meal. Text that person you fancy whenever you want, unless that means having your phone in your hand 24/7. Things taken to the extreme rarely work out. Well… actually, they never do. 

Why Now?

If not now, when? We can’t expect to improve the way we feel -there’s always room for improvement- by thinking those feelings will happen only when I achieve this or that, or X person shows real interest in me, or my boss gives me that promotion, or my kid finishes high school… the list is endless. Unless there is a serious situation affecting us we need to resolve, every moment is right now. On this very moment. Not tomorrow, next week, next year. Stop avoiding making crucial decisions and choose what corner you will turn in this exact path you are walking. If you can’t, remember to breathe. Oxygen is an amazing medicine for a troubled mind. Stop saying yes because you are afraid of saying no and its consequences. In Spanish, my native language, there’s a phrase I often use: “la vida es para los valientes”. Which means “life is for brave people” or something like that. Be brave. And free. 

In any case, l’m here to talk about our reality once more. Lately, I’ve been circling around the idea of what should be and what is; what we want and crave for and how that desire can turn into our biggest nightmare; is it only me or sometimes we all feel like we evolve, but we are only taking steps backwards without even knowing it?

Actual needs vs what we consume

Do you really need that luxury car? That Botox injection? Those trendy brand clothes? No, you don’t. But somehow you want them. Is it because it is advertised with people you would like to look like? Maybe it’s the idea of success -and what it should look like- that is making you work 60+ hours a week. What exactly is it to be really successful? I’ll tell you one thing: success is different for all and each one of us. And the shortest answer I can find is that success means having more happy moments than unhappy ones, consistently. Wether that’s achieved by job recognition, a lovely family, an expensive trip, a massive house, or just being able to enjoy your own company, or meditate every day, or even doing sports on a regular basis, it is your choice. I know someone that says she is happy “as long as she has a good book to read”. And I believe her. Although, that is not true for me. Unfortunately, I feel like I need much more. 

Give it time

Finding what makes you happy doesn’t happen over night. Trust me, everyone is still trying to figure that out. Don’t believe everything you see on social media, please. Do yourself a favor and turn those notifications off. Your former colleague who posts pretty pictures of their latte at a well-known coffee chain is actually going through a very rough divorce. The one in the Caribbean on a beautiful beach took that trip to forget about their past trauma which they can’t deal with right now. We are all trying to take a break from a mental jail we put ourselves into without even realizing it. Nevertheless, you are valid. Their needs and yours are too. We all do (or at least should do) tremendous work with our thoughts and feelings to conquer a stable, relaxed, joyful mindset. Are you there yet? Well… it takes time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. 

Approval. From whom?

A long time ago, I had a therapist who told me I needed my boss’ approval so much because I was filling in the blanks from my childhood. Back then, I was putting so many hours every day, I was even working during my lunch hour. Guess what? He was right. So, eventually I had to let go of what other people thought of me and focus on what I thought of myself. Did I like who I saw in the mirror? Why? Why not? What should we do in order to love ourselves in a better, healthier way? Trust your instincts. Transform yourself into who you want to become. Don’t measure your progress or -again- success according to other people’s standards. You need to be proud of yourself. You are doing the best you can with what you have. And if you are not then re-evaluate and start over. Who said life is a straight arrow? It is usually a zigzag. And most of the times, you need to go back and forth to analyze things, emotions, thoughts, and even prayers. 

Embrace help

Are you feeling like you can’t cope with work? Or family drama? Or that ex-partner that you thought loved you but has hurt you like no-one before? Loss, bad health, sadness… You name it. In the end, most people struggle to make it to the next day without feeling too bad about the cards dealt on their tables. Ask for help. Talk to your friends, your coworkers, your boss, your partner, your kids, your doctor, your therapist, someone in your congregation, your coach. You are not alone. No one is. Someone in this extremely connected society via websites and apps will listen to you. Brave people go out of their close minds to admit they need to be seen. 

An online world

A few seconds ago, you read me rumbling against the fake lives shown on social. But everything can be turned from dust to gold if you want to. I am connected over the once called “world wide web”, now “the internet”, with people from everywhere in the world. You can do that too. Actually, you already are. That is a great thing that happened from evolution and technology. Include people from different backgrounds, ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, etc. into your every day interactions. Open your mind. Think positive. Look at the glass half full. You are here, right? Let’s make the best out of it. We only remember this one lifetime, don’t we? Ok… I think I’ll leave you to answer that.